Category Archives: Individual Coaching

New Perspectives on How to Best Serve

17 Apr 12
Michelle Cubas
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A dear friend forwarded an inspirational article I’ve included in this entry. The theme enlivens and emphasizes how words matter and have different energies. Often, without being aware we diminish others with our good intentions. We may take power from them by implying they are weak and need help, or we may satisfy ourselves while we were intending to fix something for someone else. These outcomes can be reviewed in esoteric writings like the Kabbalah. Accordingly, the Universe is cause and effect, so when something creates imbalance, like the article reference, the entire system is thrown off balance. One such reference is called the Bread of Shame.

The Bread of Shame in essence is when one person always gives to someone and the someone perceives no way of repayment. Consider children who want to make a parent a card. That is their way to “pay it forward” on the care and attention they receive. They want to be part of the family unit and do what they see others doing. Another thought is a homeless person who turns around and offers selflessly to help others. The CNN Heroes Program has many examples of people who were in need then turned around to help others.

Along this line of thinking, at a seminar, I brought up a question as to the meaning of compromise. I drew a formula of: 1 + 1 = 1/2. With compromise, both sides left “hungry,” unsatisfied they had wholeness.
The flip side was agreement based on the cliché “Win-Win” that looked like 1 + 1 = 3.
Everyone left with more than they came in.
Which way do you prefer?

What are ways to serve?

  1. Make your contribution anonymous so no ego energy becomes involved with the act.
  2. As the author suggests, the service is feels like it is generated from outside oneself, while the fixer feels they are generating the energy. Join a community of like-minded people.
  3. Offer what you can with no idea of receiving anything in return.
  4. When you manage an employee, allow them to rise to their talents. Serve them with encouragement.
  5. Parents can serve their children with creative space and stop hovering over them. The children’s beauty will emerge with enough comfort and safety like tending a plant.

Whatever your beliefs, we can all be more accurate in saying what we want to convey.

Todays’ Challenge: Where might we change meanings of help, fix & serve in our lives?
Please leave your comments.

PS—Too bad the presidential race doesn’t understand this type of thinking. From an esoteric perspective, they do not realize the giant circuit they create with negativity—it will only come back to short-circuit what they are doing. mc
DailyGood: Helping, Fixing or Serving?, by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD

Reach out and touch your audience’s concerns

15 May 11
Michelle Cubas
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Host Deb Scott gave me a platform to discuss a pertinent business coaching issues on job creation and how to apply the 4P’s—People, Profits, Purpose, and Performance/Productivity in your business. Enjoy. Please leave feedback in the comments section. Thank you. MC  Enjoy the show here!

Complimentary materials download is available at

One window closes, another one opens

22 Dec 10
Michelle Cubas
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Happy holidays to you. Each new season provides a clean slate for ideas and activities to continue to move forward. 
In my S.O.S. (Simple Open Strategies) for Challenging Times group on LinkedIn, you can “drop in” on discussions raised by small business owners and enjoy tips and tactics to move through this daunting time. Find us under Groups in alpha order.
Here are some topics we’re working on:
  • Listened to your voice message lately? If U hear, “Sorry I missed you . . . or “We’re either on the phone or …,” or, “I’ll return your call at my earliest convenience,” change it instantly! Instead, use this moment as a 30 second invitation to your website or next event or invite people to leave their phone number and message and let them know what’s new from you.
  • What clever marketing angles do you observe from clients and companies you patronize?
  • Looking for seed money? Check this out. There is little risk and adds energy to your site. 
  • Other terrific resources are Aardvark for research and crowdsourcing elements, Squidoo and all things Seth Godin -MC

It’s the little things that make a difference. Please join us on LinkedIn and innovate together.

Why Small Talk Gets Bad Rap

29 Sep 09
Michelle Cubas
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Anyone who “shows up” as a Thinker, Analytical or Problem Solver, this is for you. Chit chat or small talk is the bane of many people’s time. These are people who have not yet discovered the hidden gems embedded in the tiny conversation.

Consider these tiny conversation highlights:
1. They provide a tone of voice so that when you respond, you can echo back in kind. E.g. if someone speaks quickly, quicken your own pace when you speak. They are more likely to pay attention to you.
2. Non-verbal (body language) cues indicate mood of the speaker. If people move in closer to hear what you’re saying, they’re interested. If they quick glance away, they want to escape!
3. Word choice—Are they expressing or impressing? Verbal judo can be fun, but save it for when you know someone better. This can be perceived as “one-ups-manship” rather than your education. It can also be misconstrued as combative and confrontational . . . Just saying!
Tune in for more next time.
What are your observations about small talk?
What are your observations about small talk? Please post here.

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Post: (Group S.O.S)

Business Failure Is A Symptom

28 Apr 08
Michelle Cubas
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Let’s highlight an essential element of Business Literacy—Agility. This is such an integral success factor that The Malcolm Baldrige Quality Principles score points for this quality.

The following relate to rigid mindsets that defy Business Literacy

Use these as a checklist for your situation—

Three reasons small businesses fail hard:
1. Lack of planning, not funding. If they have a formal business plan, they don’t bring it out.
Usually there is a lack of a written marketing plan, which represents up to 70% of the business plan.

2. Owners/Leaders don’t listen to advisory input. They make unilateral decisions and they are stubborn. This symptom often relates to the experience and fear of having to learn a new way and the leader may lose control. Can you feel the catastrophizing build! That’s not leadership, that’s being bossy. Ever wondered how those two words relate?
When they want to do everything alone, one must question what the underlying insecurity it. These types don’t know when to hire expertise because they won’t ask—the circumstance is like the joke about men asking for directions! (So, they invented the GPS!)

3. These leaders focus on widgets rather seeing over the horizon then working back. They confuse production with productivity. Counting units is fine however, when we don’t factor in the cost of driving our personnel into the ground, we’re not seeing the reality of the outcome.

What do you think? What’s your experience with agility?
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